Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Vanishing Point

.....Looking into the mirror one morning to begin his ritual ablutions—shaving his forehead and flossing his mind—he was startled to see the being he had always thought he was slowly beginning to fade from view in the mirror.
.....First the left nostril disappeared, then the dimple on his chin, and soon his entire right earlobe. Within minutes there was just an ominous black void where his bloodshot eyes had just been.
.....If things keep up like this, he thought to himself with some concern, soon there won’t be anything left of me that I can still call me. And then what will I be when there’s no longer any me left to see?
.....He lifted his hand to examine what remained of his face, but, much to his surprise, the hand itself had vanished, and his right arm was starting to disappear along with it.
.....He pondered for a moment: If I am but the thing that reflects itself in the mirror when I wash my dainty morning face, and that face no longer appears when I peer in the mirror, then who is looking at what and how? And who exactly am I when there is no longer even any I to spy in the mirror with my mind’s eye?
.....This could certainly pose some difficult metaphysical conundrums, he thought.
.....He hesitated to look down but when he did he was horrified to discover that even that was completely gone….vanished….disappeared. Zooks, he shouted, now I am no longer even a man! What will my girlfriend, Tanya, have to say about that, he wondered? I suppose the engagement’s off now, he sighed.
.....Nipples, left elbow, and all twelve toes disappeared in quick succession. Soon, all that remained when he looked into the mirror was his belly button—an inny to be exact.
.....“Well, I suppose that if I had to be left with just one piece of myself, my belly button is as good a part as any. I’ve gotten some very positive complements on that belly button over the years, he gushed to himself proudly.
.....But just as he was resigning himself to being nothing more than a mere belly button, even that soon disappeared.
.....Now there is no longer anything left of me to see in the mirror, he thought. With nothing better to do, he decided that he might as well use the time to wipe the streaks that had accumulated on the reflective surface as he was watching himself disappear from sight.
.....Cleaning the glass, the brute reality of his situation finally hit home. He reflected: If there is no me left to see and no eyes with which to see, then who is looking in the mirror at what once was me? And, if there is no me left to see, then with what hand can these streaks be wiped away from the mirror? And how can I—if there is no longer any I either in reality or mind’s eye—be thinking these thoughts about I, me, and mine?
.....But before he could figure out the answer to these riddles, the mirror itself disappeared, followed by his newly redecorated bathroom, then the house itself, and then the street upon which the house once stood. Soon every living thing on the planet simply vanished, followed eventually by the planet itself. Within a short time the entire universe itself simply ceased to exist any longer.
.....Now there’s not even a universe left, he sighed to himself—actually to what once was himself. But how can I still be here thinking when there is no thinker and nothing to think about? I suppose the only logical explanation is that I must be God, he concluded finally. And he felt extremely satisfied with that particular hypothesis.
.....It’s going to be pretty sweet being master of the whole damned universe, he thought to himself. But then the maddening reality suddenly hit him: I’m the Lord of the Universe, but there’s no universe to lord over and no Lord to do the lording.
.....So this is what hell is like for God, he cried to himself, wiping away the tears that didn’t exist.

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