Killing Robert Frost

Creative Writing Project Based on Robert Frost's "Stopping in the Woods on a Snowy Evening"

Submitted by: Billy Slotnick [7th Grade]

___________

"Whose woods are THESE

I think I know.

His house is by the village
.............................though (rhymes
..........with snnnnoooow
.............and woe,
.....................but also toe) [Very clever use of rhyme!!!]

He will not see me

STOPPING SHOPPING here

to wacth [note typo!]
his woods fill up with
.........................snow" (also rhymes with
BLOW (ya know?) !!!!!!!!!
..........................!!!!!!!!!!! >>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

What sorta SHIT [avoid profanity!]

..............is this

ANY........................WAY

............................................????

Poetry should come from the

.............H

...............E

.................A

...................R

.....................T [very charming!]

or at least from

the little area

...............................between

your belly button

..................................and the

tip of yr -----> [Your what? Be explicit. Remember, poetry is all about detail.]

,not from yr gdamn head, [Use correct punctuation!]
.....................dumbass [Extremely offensive! Robert Frost is one of this country's greatest poets and a true American hero. How dare you besmirch his noble character in such a derogatory manner!]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

^^^^

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yr so-called posey
............................ain't worth
the price of a
.........diet coke

and that shit's

...poison anyway
just like yr
..................fucking writing
[Now you are insulting the Coca Cola Corporation - a fine American institution - as well as Mr. Frost. Shame on you! And, by the way, I myself am a fan of diet beverages, which I am forced to drink because of glandular problems!]

Frost,
you sorry old,
..........piece a,
..............................pot a,
................pile a
dried up

..........................................mildew, [Surprising imagery. very nice!]
drop the rhyme and meter
and just get on with
the D A M N

..............................point.

I get it

...........already...

The old bugger is

.........sad n lonely.

Well, so the fuck am I, [language!]

but you don't hear me

..................bitching bout it.

Die,

,,,,,,,,Robert Frost,

............. DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[If you were listening during class instead of doodling, you would realize that Mr. Frost died some time ago, although he lives on in the magnificent works of poetry which he has so generously bequeathed us.]

POETRY SUCKS!

METAL RULES! [A dubious proposition to be sure!]

__________________________

Billy, let's chat about this after school. Your poetry shows definite improvement since the beginning of the year, but I still think that you are bottling up your feelings too much. Remember, poetry is about catharsis. Let the lovely child inside of yourself come though in your writing. Why not try writing your next poem about flowers, a luscious verdant valley in springtime, or perhaps the sweet pangs of innocent first love? You might enjoy it!!!

- Mrs. Feldstein