Life Lesson (Wherein a Middle-Aged Academic Learns that All Happiness in Life Springs from a Young Child’s Nose)

......At the park today I saw a child picking his nose.
......Young man, I said to him in an authoritative tone, don’t you know that it is extremely uncouth for a boy your age to be picking his nose in public?
......But the young boy was unimpressed by my admonitions and stuck his finger even deeper into his left nostril.
......Little man, I tried again, your manners leave much to be desired. Stop picking your nose right now!
......Again the young boy ignored me and continued to probe his nasal cavity with focused intensity.
......Now I was getting agitated. My friend, I said, I am going to tell your mother about your rude behavior and I can assure you that she will not be happy about it.
......Still, the boy continued to pick away, not even bothering to glance at me as I scolded him.
......My frustration was reaching the point where I was afraid that I would say something extremely unkind to the boy, but then at once I saw the point of his quest. For out of his left nostril sprang the most exquisite virgin princess, dressed in pink lace, riding a white unicorn. As the unicorn gained its footing, the princess lifted the little boy on its back and the two rode off together. I hear they recently bought a four-bedroom cape in an exclusive subdivision outside of Boston, where they live with their four children and a large humpback turtle named Gary.