Kill Daddy While You Can

“All arrogance will reap a harvest rich in tears. God calls men to a heavy reckoning for overweening pride.” — Aeschylus

I don’t care
what your daddy told you,
pretty baby /
killing folks in far off places
for no good reason
just ain’t right. /
it turns you into
a redneck goon
and makes you hungry
for the blood of orphans
and other small
woodland creatures /
don’t believe
when daddy says
they hate us
‘cause of our FREEDOMS
and our FINE CONDIMENTS /
they have plenty of
pickle juice in Iran
and don’t give
a crap-and-a-half
for the soothing pleasures
of american idol /
silly baby, don’t you know
your president is a murderer,
a coward,
a cretin
and pot of collard greens /
boil him if you like;
he’ll still taste bitter as hell /
take this from one
who knows,
my poor, sad baby,
everything your father told you
is a nasty lie:
the easter bunny don’t exist
and communists
sure as hell don’t cry /
don’t kill towel heads /
kill your father instead /